You know you're from Sweden when...

1. Your family had to re-arrange a number of Christmas traditions when Arne Weise retired.
2. You get nostalgic by thinking of the summer of 1994.
3. You thought Astrid Lindgren was immortal and was shocked and cried your heart out when she actually did die.
4. You go seriously sentimental when entering an IKEA store, outside the borders of Sweden.
5. You love complaining about Sweden when you are there and state "it's much better in Sweden" when you are abroad.
6. You secretly love the Eurovision Song Contest to pieces.
7. You know at least 10 Abba songs by heart.
8. You are prone to stand in line without complaining.
9. You know the names of a multitude of IKEA items.
10. You know how to pronounce these names and sigh when non-Swedes don't.
11. You have a tendency to not divide words when you write in English, since "särskrivning" is a sin.
12. You don't really care about winning as long as the Swedish beat the Norwegains and the Finish, no matter what the game/contest is.
13. You know that Sweden never actually will win the World Cup in Football, but keep partying anyway.
14. You wouldn't even consider buying electrical items unless they are "S"-marked.
15. You have serious difficulties crossing the street when there is a red light. Even when there are no cars.
16. You take your shoes off when entering a house, and don't get why non-Swedes find that funny.
17. You know what the term "dansband" refers to, but know that it is a losing battle explaining to non-Swedes what it is.
18. You don't consider a congregation of trees being a "real" forest unless it takes at least 20 minutes to drive through it.
19. You use metric system and really don't get why there are people out there who don't.
20. You consider "schlager" being a proper music genre.
21. You consider a fast and audioable intake of breath as a synonym to the word "yes".
22. You find the ads for Coca Cola during Christmas completely useless since none would consider drinking any other soft drink than "julmust" during Christmas anyway.
23. You know that it is not true, but you like to believe that there is a massive difference between the taste of "julmust" and "påskmust".
24. You know that the most common cars in Sweden are not Volvo's or Saab's, but Ahlgrens Bilar.
25. You are not likely admit to having watched a full episode of Allsång på Skansen, but feel that the fact that they broadcast it every summer is soothing, and a notion that things remain in their normal state.
26. You like things in general to be "lagom".
27. It annoys the hell out of you that there is no good translation for the word "lagom" in any language (except in Turkish, apparently)
28. You consider Sweden being on the verge of annoyingly "lagom". Like a tetra pack of mellanmjolk, sort of.
29. You have at one point, or more, during your childhood, attempted to fabricate something that you learnt how to make from watching "Hajk".
30. While fabricating the thing mentioned in point 42. things went terribly wrong.
31. You think that Sweden winning a gold in any type of World Championships require celebrating by getting really drunk and splash around in a large and famous fountain.
32 You have a tendency to make Swedish verbs out of English nouns, and do not consider it slang or grammatically incorrect.
33. Generally, you prefer writing with a pencil.
34. You have a summer house in the countryside. It has no running water or flushing toilet, but you can't understand why no one wants to visit.
35. Making fun of Norway is a national institution. And vise versa.
36. You love Kalles Caviar. Everyone else outside scandanavia hates it.
37. You are obsessed with health issues. Everything is bad unless it comes from sweden, in which case its ok.
38. You could survive on just fish and prawns, and still manage to have a different dish for every meal for a month. Oh, and you even put it in cake.
39. You find it normal to have to go to a special store that is owned by the government, that's only open during daytime to buy a bottle of wine, or other alcoholic beverages.
40. You constantly try to avoid meeting your neighbours in the staircase.
41. You split the check by the exact penny after eating at a restaurant.
42. You don't mind waking up way too early during the first 24 days of December in order to watch 15 minutes of TV's annual Advent Calendar.
43. You find the idea of wall to wall carpets in bathrooms and toilets simply appalling.
44. You just don't "orka"...
45. You thought wall to wall carpets was a concept of the past or the ferrys to Finland/Estonia/Germany/Denmark. Then you went abroad and realised that you were wrong.
46. You don't even realise that you speak/write Swenglish whenever you speak/write to Swedish people.
47. You die a little inside if you don't get your weekly ransion of "Mamma Scans Kottbullar".
48. You think that everyone is allowed to walk in any field or forrest. And when people abroad tell you it's private land, you don't understand and say "But, what about Allemansratten?"
49. You expect people to be drinking atleast a bottle each of vodka, and think that's normal.
50. Your ideal breakfast consists of a slice of bread with egg och kalles kaviar, och a big cup of oboy...
51. After having realized that someone is standing on your foot in the subway, you think that the best idea is to not say anything at all or maybe cough or nod a little in order to attract the attention of the person standing on your foot.
52. You find non-scandinavians so loud and noisy but find it perfectly normal to get completely wasted, "bröla", sing along to "när vi gräver guld i usa..." and piss in public, when you're abroad and partying with non-scandinavians.
53. You know who Bamse is, and love him with all of your heart.
54. You refuse to belive that snuff or "snus" is harmful.
55. Since snuff "isn't harmful", you can't understand why no one except the swedes use it...
56. You have become addicted to Playahead/Lunarstorm/Helgon and/or Bilddagboken.
57. Seeing a young woman with lit candles stuck to her head no longer disturbs you.
58. You wake up with BIG hang-overs on the days after April 30th (Valborg) and December 13th (Lucia).
59. you have, with some measure of success, spoken rövarspråket.
60. You are stuck in front of your TV watching curling during every Olmpic Games.
61. You have been accused of being from Switzerland. Repeatedly.
62. You refer to some internationally famous Swedes by their nicknames, even when speaking to bewildered non-Swedes who have no clue what you are talking about.(I.e: "Svennis" (Sven-Goran Ericsson) and "Henke" (Henrik Larsson).
63. You cried when Henke Larsson cut his hair.
64. You just love singing "snapsvisor" while drinking any kind of alcohol.
65. You would rather stand up on the bus for an hour than bother the person who's handbag is currently occupying the last available seat.
66. You would never use public transportation without a valid ticket, even though it's ridiculously overpriced.
67. You generally consider the pre-party better than the night out in a club that follows.
68. You look forward all year for August when you get to gather your friends, put on stupid paper hats, drink Vodka, sing and eat crayfish.
69. You don't mind women using the men's bathroom in clubs if the queue to the "Ladies" is long.
70. You go abroad on vacation and first things first try to localize a Swedish bar and restaurant.
71. You LOVE Carola and knows almost all her songs by heart even though she's a bit of a freak these days.
72. You get chills down your spine thinking about the "Flour-tant".
73. It's totally ok to stop working for a while when Anja is skiing in an important competition and instead join your colleagues in front of the TV which somebody brought.
74. You actually miss Knäckebröd abroad but never eat it in Sweden because it's so dry!
75. You are amazed to find that other countries are not familiar with winter tires, 'halkbanor' and 'dubbar'.
76. You insist on that Swedish chocolate is the best chocolate in the world, despite of what the Belgians and the Swiss might say.
77. It's raining and you hear yourself say your grandmothers wise words, "There is no bad weather, just bad clothes"
78. You insist on convincing people the vikings were the first to discover america.
79. You can't refrain from bragging about winning both the olympics and the world championships 2006 in hockey back to back whenever you have the opportunity to...talking to a Canadian...
80. You realise that toast and marmalade can never, ever replace dark bread with "prästost".
81. You consider blond hair about as normal as dark hair.
82. You constantly have to point out that not EVERYONE in Sweden is blond, in fact you add that most people are not.
83. You have tried, and failed, to convince non-swedes that jam with your food is really good.
84. IKEA is home away from home.
85. You don't understand why non-swedes find salt lakris inedible.
86. you realise the potential and imagination behind a number of Swedish words (like: förfest, träningsvärk, groggvirke, sola, KLOCKRENT)
87. you get frustrated because there is no way you can say these words in any other language and sound correct.
88. you don't think a farmhouse is actually a farmhouse unless it is red or yellow with white trim.
89. eventhough jumping into haybales is really gross you still do it and love it because "Bullerby Barnen" did it.
90. you compare all other spiced wine to glögg and with a frown state the obvious superiority of the Swedish Xmas drink.
91. you seriously look for Baklava made from whole grain, because "in Sweden, we don't eat white flour anymore, Socialstyrelsen says it's not good for you"
92. you consider taking a cruise ship to tallin a valid excuse to get completely off your face and act like an utter ass as soon as the ship leaves port.
93. you know that there is no way the nesquick powder can ever replace real O'boy
94. you find it OBVIOUS that a mile is 10 kilometres.
95. a nights sleep only counts if it consists of 8 consecutive hours. 10 hours would be considered too much.
96. you innocently say F**K at completely inappropriate times when talking english.
97. you consider it tradition to get wasted and dance around a giant penis symbol stuck in the ground every summer.
98. you think it's perfectly normal to pay over 50 % of your income in taxes.
99. everything you know about sex you learned from ”Bullen” or KP's "Kropp och Knopp".
100. you can’t for you life understand why there’s no handles on the paper bags you get in the liquor store.
101. you have been or know someone who has been an exchange student
102. When "tallriksmodellen" pops up in your head every time you serve food.
103. when it is considered a sin to record Kalle Anka (Donald Duck) on the video at Christmas.
104. you talk about politics at house parties.
105. you like to travel to other countries where you KNOW that 99% of the people there are Swedish or speak atleast decent Swedish
106. people ask you if you have polarbears on the streets and you try to spread the myth further by stating it's true.
107. you go to the downtown during a sunday and don't expect to meet a single soul during a 30 minute walk
108. you can name at least 7 different kinds of jam, and produce 4 of them in your own kitchen.
109. you think you're better at engilsh than you really are.
110. you LOVE to use english quotes and slang.
111. you're not really offended anymore by getting confused with switzerland and nobody can locate sweden on a map.
112. using fuck, shit and other badwords isn't really that bad for you.
113. you automatically answer "no" when people ask you questions like
- " do you have polarbears in sweden? "
- " is it legal to smoke pot in sweden? "
114. you think its completley normal to atleast have studied one year of german, one year of french and one year of spanish
115. you know that the only parts swedish people get to play in movies is when there is supposed to be a stupid blonde in the scene.
116. you know what a midsommarstang is, and you know every song and dance that comes with it
117. it's perfectly fine to party and get wasted on random week days (especially wednesdays) just for the heck of it. Even if you have work/school the day after..
118. you have a million pictures of yourself, and 90% of those pictures you took yourself.
119. you end every phone call with "puss".
120. you find it unbearable and disturbing that "puss" and "kyss" is only one word in English.0
121. you call it "mobile phone" and not "cell phone"
122. you don't mind walking instead of taking the car
123. you know almost every other country in the world as well as most capital cities, or has atleast studied this for a Geography test.
124. you have at some point in your life had a volvo or a saab as the family car
125. you don't find "bananer i pyjamas" to be a bit sexual.
126. Smörgåstårta. Enough said.
127. You actually know how to pronounce smörgåsbord.
128. Everytime you see a swedish brand/actor/company/phone/car/furniture store you feel compelled to point that out to your friends (with badly hidden pride in your voice).
129. You find teenage moms shocking and very strange; because you don't know anyone who had a child before 25...and you thought that was young
130. You know they are the same, but you just don't trust ibuprofen and paracetamol the way you trust Ipren and Alvedon
131. you wonder why Fil isn't sold abroad
132. You understand the phrase "fjortis"
133. Lösgodis (pick n’mix) becomes more desirable than cigarettes.
134. You ONLY eat candy on Saturdays.
135. people ask what your parents are called and you are tempted to say Inga and Sven...because you know there is no way they will understand or be able to pronounce names like åsa, åke eller Örjan
136. You get REALLY annoyed when people outside of Sweden do not know that Pippi Longstocking is Swedish.
137. You just love to 'fika', and know that it is an activity that is meant to last for hours and is not the equivalent of going for a coffee.
138. You don’t consider Starbucks a proper café, since a real cafe is a atmospheric, groovy, cosy place not at all as brightly lit and multi national as Starbucks.
139. You instinctively spot 'Swedes' from a distance just based on looks and what they're wearing. (obviously they are anomalies- Norwegians or Finns at a push…)
140. You think going to the pub for a drink is a waste of time if you're not going to get drunk
141. You have absolutely no idea what is meant by" Swedish massage" that keeps being advertised as a hot item in spas all over the world.
142. You have never ever heard of either “Annas gingerbread” or “Mrs Elswood's cod roe spread - product of Sweden” or “Swedish glace” (it’s free from cholesterol,
143. You're not in Sweden and you miss the hotdog stands where you can get a hotdog with shrimp salad when you have been out partying!
144. As like IKEA, H&M feels like home away from home.
145. You eat pancakes with jam, not lemon and sugar like the English.
146. You end a P.S with a D.S.
147. You find it perfectly normal to dress up like a witch at Easter and find the Easter bunny completely illogical.
148. You celebrate Easter and Christmas a day before most other countries
149. You know that real Easter eggs are not made of chocolate; they're made of paper and filled with pick'n'mix (losgodis)
150. You couldn’t care less about the sixth of June and consider celebrating “Midsummer” being as close to a proper national day as it will ever get.
151. You know that gravy is crap compared to the choice of sauces Swedes have.
152. You put toilet paper on the seat in a public toilet and double fold it neatly.
153. You have quoted Elin from Fucking Åmål MANY TIMES when you were a teenager ("Varför måste vi bo i fucking-jävla-kuk-Åmål?", "Jag vill knarka", "Jag ska bli psykolog. Eller... det tror jag i alla fall", "Jag är hellre glad nu än om 25 år", or "Jag ska aldrig mer bli ihop med nån. Jag ska bli celibat")
154. You have been at a club making fun of people dancing even though you know you are at least as bad of a dancer as they are.
155. You feel bad if you're not outside on a sunny day.
156. You think that Robert Gustavsson is the funniest man alive, period.
157. It's not strange that the Prime Minister marries the CEO of "Systembolaget"
158. You want to make love, you want to do it to the sound of Buddy Holly
159. At cafés, you find it completely normal walking all the way to the counter to order and then carrying it yourself to the table rather than being waitered.
160. You find it completely normal, when going to a pre-party (förfest) everyone has their Systembolaget-kasse in the fridge and notoriously keep track of which liquor is their liquor!
161. when you get annoyed by people standing to the left in the escalator.
162. You actually read all of these.
163. YOU WOULD NEVER EVER ADMIT TO ANYTHING ON THIS LIST.
164. (But you realise that everything is so true as well...)

Hemma

Jag är hemma. Jag mår bra. Turkiet var varmt och att vara bakfull i 35 grader är inte att rekommendera. Jag saknar USA nu när jag börjar få lite distans till saker men är ändå glad att jag är hemma.

Uppdatering kommer när rummet är städat, jag mår bra igen och allt har köpts till skolan. Alltså nån gång i November.
Hörs!

Snart hemma :D

3 dagar. 3 DAGAR! Och jag har inte last HP an. Stolt stolt stolt :D Pappa och mamma tror att jag kommer lasa ut den pa bussresan ner. Saa snabbt laser jag den inte pa. Men om jag gor det sa har jag nya cosmo som haller mig sallskap :D

Hannah spottade pa mig i onsdags. Maste jag saga att jag vill sla ihjal henne. Javla helvetes skitunge! Men pa mandag slipper jag henne for gott! Whoopie!

Gotta go!
So long!
Emmalicious